Wall Writing

I do not mean "the writing on the wall". I mean "wall writing", as in what human males do when they don't manage to urinate IN a toilet, on purpose or not.

DJ has officially joined the not-so-elite club of wall writers. I'm pretty sure it was an accident. But then I think about the circumstances, and I'm not so sure.

I had kids by myself last (Friday) night. I was in the process of cooking dinner when DJ came to me and said he needed to go potty. Naturally, this was right when I needed to take the food off of the stove. I dumped the pasta unceremoniously into the colander, and went to help DJ.

Meanwhile, Elektra had started to get mad a few minutes earlier because I told her Daddy wasn't home. So when she found herself on the other side of the gate from DJ, her full blown meltdown began. I quickly pulled down DJ's shorts and underwear, sat him on the potty, and went to address Elektra's meltdown figuring DJ can pee without my hovering over him because he's been doing such a good job with it this whole week.

Then the phone rang; caller ID said it was Eleanor. Elektra was still wailing, but I decided she was just having a tantrum and would ignore it. I went to answer the phone, and came right back to the bathroom while still exchanging greetings, expecting to find DJ still not having gone pee. Instead, when I arrived, DJ said, "I did it, Mommy!" That's when Eleanor heard, "Ohhhhhh.... Yes... you did do it."

DJ had not held his penis down when he started peeing. Ok, that usually results in a little mess on the floor just in front of the toilet; no big deal. But on top of that, he had to have pushed as hard as he could because the stream not only hit the rug in front of the toilet and part of the shower curtain beyond the rug, but he also hit the far wall of the bathroom, clearing the entire width of the bathtub. We are talking a good 4 - 5 feet!

Wall Writing. There it was, just as Steve had predicted shortly after DJ was born. I don't think the wall writing started intentionally but when he saw some pretty fun results, I have to think that he just kept on going!

I was still on the phone with Eleanor planning what would be today's (Saturday) activity when I told DJ to sit there one more minute. I ran to put Elektra in her high chair and give her milk hoping that it would calm her down (it didn't...she didn't calm down until she got her dinner to inhale). That's when I turned back around to go back to DJ, and saw, instead, DJ trying to run around in his room with both his underwear and shorts still around his ankles.

Two thoughts went through my head:
1. He didn't wait for me to come back. But being that I didn't say that explicitly, I couldn't be mad. Plus, was it more than a minute? To a toddler, the answer is "absolutely"!
2. Why didn't he pull up his underwear/shorts??? He knows how!! Needless to say, the sight was hysterical.

Shortly thereafter, dinner was served, and the world settled back to a normal pace.

Only then did I clean up Aisle 1.

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